During Atlanta’s most recent snow day, Cavall and I had several conversations. I originally posted them to Facebook and G+, but since my friends liked them I’m including them here.
DOG: I LOVE SNOW.
Me: That is sleet. Your paws will get cold.
DOG: I AM THE MIGHTY WOLF COLDPAW. HA HA COLD IS AWESOME.
Me: No! No rolling in slush!
DOG: HA HA SLUSH IS AWESOME
Me: Now you’ve got ice in your fur!
DOG: SNIFF ME I SMELL LIKE WINTER
Me: Just so you’re having fun, I guess.
DOG: I’M CHILLY. CAN WE GO INSIDE?
Me: Come on, it all smells like snow.
DOG: EVERY SNOWFLAKE IS DIFFERENT, WISE APE. ONE OF THESE FLAKES MIGHT BE A KILLER.
Me: I promise there are no killer snowflakes.
DOG: WELL, THERE MIGHT BE A SQUIRREL HIDING UNDER THE SNOW.
Me: Oh, come on, you’re really reaching.
DOG: ETERNAL VIGILANCE IS THE PRICE OF SAFETY.
DOG: WE MUST GET THE SERUM TO NOME!
Me: Stop…pulling on…your leash!
DOG: MUSH! MUSH!
Me: That’s my line! And I don’t have a sled!
DOG: YOU ARE SO LAME
Me: Fine, Balto, let’s run!
DOG: NAH, SCREW THIS, I’M FREEZING
Me: Now who’s lame?
DOG: C’MON, THERE ARE MILK BONES AT THE COFFEE BAR.
DOG: WHERE IS THE SNOW?
Me: It melted.
DOG: IT NEVER MELTS BEYOND THE WALL.
Me: This is Georgia, Cavall.
DOG: MY NAME IS GHOST.
Me: Ghost is a giant albino direwolf. You are a small black mutt.
DOG: GRRRRR POINT ME AT THE OTHERS
Me: Georgia. Not Westeros. G-E-O-R-G-I-A.
DOG: WHERE’S A FREY? I’M GONNA BITE A FREY.
Me: You can’t even read!
DOG: THEN WHY DID YOU SPELL GEORGIA AT ME?
Me: I…I…
DOG: YOU KNOW NOTHING, LAURIE ZOLKOSKY
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